Grinding gears and making miles (John fails to break the new elephant ambulance chassis-cab)
Just like boys everywhere I love my toys, and the bigger the better, and just like all men I tend to reckon I'm the only correct driver on the road and everyone else is either plain crazy, drunk or asleep (though to be fair, up here in Northern Thailand at Songkran...).
Still; and despite all evidence to the contrary, once driving a horse truck about 20km across the Australian outback with two flat tyres before I noticed (well it was a rough track and an old truck), incidentally I had also been using the exhaust brake lever as an indicator (it was on the steering column and the markings had been worn off by forty years of cowboy sweat) and having been told (by a removal man) that I am 'not a natural driver'; I tend to like to test drive everything possible.
So when it came time to work on the final modifications of the chassis-cab for the Thai Elephant Conservation Centre's Elephant Ambulance which we are buying with money raised from the gala dinner (and internet auction) at last year's King's Cup Elephant Polo I thought it was up to me to test drive. My theory actually being that if I can hit all the gears without too much trouble then any professional trucker, or even pre-driving test nervous teenager can do the same.
After much umm-ing and ahh-ing we decided to go with a custom built truck (which - aside from the busy-ness of my everyday schedule - is why it is taking so much time) based on the sort of ten-wheel truck used to haul rice harvesters. These have a low back ramp built in, normal 17 tonne suspension but on an extended 7.5 tonne chassis, important to keep the whole thing from rolling on Thailand's mountain roads; they run on small 7.5 tonner wheels which keeps the whole thing closer to the ground and is cheaper for tyres but they also have a lockable double rear differential which means all eight rear wheels can be engaged to drive (I can hear eyes rolling, snoring heads hitting keyboards from here - told you, boys and toys).
Anyway I waved my English license around (it has a picture of a truck on it - though only covers me for 7.5 tonnes and nothing this size) hopped into the cab and fired it up before anyone could ask too many questions, proceeded to terrify my passenger and various teenage motorbike users on the narrow back roads by the University by trying desperately to use all combinations of gears without using the main highway where the police might ask a few more questions than the usual where are you going? where are you from?
The contraption survived all my clutchless double de-clutching, left foot braking, parallel parking and all that other stuff that real truckers talk about so I think it passed the test.
The nice surprises were that the owner, as a sweetener, had added two useful bits of kit as opposed the usual Porsche stickers and go faster stripes (we already have and will have to remove them) the tipping gear hydraulics now drive a six tonne winch which, if we can make a six tonne a-frame, can be used for getting stricken elephants to their feet but is far more flexible than our original crane idea. There is also an hydraulic ram to lift the tail gate and anyone who has ever had dealings with any form of strong steel truck tailgates will agree that a ram is a good idea.
The next step is to buy and register it before we send it down to Lampang and into the hands of the full time mahouts and vets to decide on the body design.
Below: Boy's toys...
...John pretends to know what he is talking about...
...the six tonne winch (now all we need is a six tonne tree to winch off) and the Porsche-sticker-as-sweetener which will be removed - unless, of course, Mr Porsche is interested in some form of sponsorship deal, not too late to change the engine!
...the hydraulic ram, an all round good idea sometimes missed by those who have never had to lift a tailgate or hitch a trailer in the freezing rain at stroke of midnight after a hard day's physical work.
...well, you try explaining the concept of a lockable double differential in Thai without the use of a photograph - even with a photograph the video of me trying to explain the benefits of such an arrangement to Amp so she could translate it was thankfully not taken.
Still; and despite all evidence to the contrary, once driving a horse truck about 20km across the Australian outback with two flat tyres before I noticed (well it was a rough track and an old truck), incidentally I had also been using the exhaust brake lever as an indicator (it was on the steering column and the markings had been worn off by forty years of cowboy sweat) and having been told (by a removal man) that I am 'not a natural driver'; I tend to like to test drive everything possible.
So when it came time to work on the final modifications of the chassis-cab for the Thai Elephant Conservation Centre's Elephant Ambulance which we are buying with money raised from the gala dinner (and internet auction) at last year's King's Cup Elephant Polo I thought it was up to me to test drive. My theory actually being that if I can hit all the gears without too much trouble then any professional trucker, or even pre-driving test nervous teenager can do the same.
After much umm-ing and ahh-ing we decided to go with a custom built truck (which - aside from the busy-ness of my everyday schedule - is why it is taking so much time) based on the sort of ten-wheel truck used to haul rice harvesters. These have a low back ramp built in, normal 17 tonne suspension but on an extended 7.5 tonne chassis, important to keep the whole thing from rolling on Thailand's mountain roads; they run on small 7.5 tonner wheels which keeps the whole thing closer to the ground and is cheaper for tyres but they also have a lockable double rear differential which means all eight rear wheels can be engaged to drive (I can hear eyes rolling, snoring heads hitting keyboards from here - told you, boys and toys).
Anyway I waved my English license around (it has a picture of a truck on it - though only covers me for 7.5 tonnes and nothing this size) hopped into the cab and fired it up before anyone could ask too many questions, proceeded to terrify my passenger and various teenage motorbike users on the narrow back roads by the University by trying desperately to use all combinations of gears without using the main highway where the police might ask a few more questions than the usual where are you going? where are you from?
The contraption survived all my clutchless double de-clutching, left foot braking, parallel parking and all that other stuff that real truckers talk about so I think it passed the test.
The nice surprises were that the owner, as a sweetener, had added two useful bits of kit as opposed the usual Porsche stickers and go faster stripes (we already have and will have to remove them) the tipping gear hydraulics now drive a six tonne winch which, if we can make a six tonne a-frame, can be used for getting stricken elephants to their feet but is far more flexible than our original crane idea. There is also an hydraulic ram to lift the tail gate and anyone who has ever had dealings with any form of strong steel truck tailgates will agree that a ram is a good idea.
The next step is to buy and register it before we send it down to Lampang and into the hands of the full time mahouts and vets to decide on the body design.
Below: Boy's toys...
...John pretends to know what he is talking about...
...the six tonne winch (now all we need is a six tonne tree to winch off) and the Porsche-sticker-as-sweetener which will be removed - unless, of course, Mr Porsche is interested in some form of sponsorship deal, not too late to change the engine!
...the hydraulic ram, an all round good idea sometimes missed by those who have never had to lift a tailgate or hitch a trailer in the freezing rain at stroke of midnight after a hard day's physical work.
...well, you try explaining the concept of a lockable double differential in Thai without the use of a photograph - even with a photograph the video of me trying to explain the benefits of such an arrangement to Amp so she could translate it was thankfully not taken.
Comments