You're telling me a bronze elephant did that to your trousers?
Dear All
You're telling me a bronze elephant did that to your trousers? How an earth did you manage to get them so filthy? These are the two questions my mother would have opened with had I handed my trousers in to her (slight poetic licence here, friends, as I am more than capable of using a washing machine) the other day.
Luckily I'm a big boy now and K. Visanu, our Housekeeping manager, has given up asking questions.
But, I think the story is told with two photographs, the first is a bronze elephant statue that has just been installed in our lotus pond to greet the guests by spraying water on himself as they ascend the drive. He's almost as exciting as the real thing and he never gets tired, isn't scared of buffalo and doesn't eat 250kg a day.
Whilst the sculptors were here they fell in love with Nong Lynchee and decided that the next project might well be a three month baby elephant based on what has become wrestling maniac with a low centre of gravity.
Great news, snap away!
But no, these guys are professionals, they need measurements of the trouser sucking one and by now you can guess who got the tape measure. Just how do you get the inside leg of a three month old baby elephant who weighs more than you and whose main passion in life has become to pin you to the ground for a three-count simultaneously trying to eat your trousers and who, for some bizarre reason, seems to want to try on your walking boots?
Well, somehow we got it done, I had to go for a meeting afterwards but that had to be adjourned outside because of the smell of baby elephant slobber that hangs around me nowadays (I won't go into the things she tries to eat, let's just say she's building up her little stomach's microbe population) the smell makes me a social outcast but, you know what? I don't mind!
So, if you see Nong Lynchee in a garden centre near you, or in a catalogue, give a thought to poor old K. Visanu's staff who had to get the trousers clean!
Yours as ever
John Roberts
PS. We don't have a name for the big statue yet - any suggestions?
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